squandered sperm

ok, for you men out there - this post is after a discussion with my sister-in-law about who is responsible for a child.

her theory: if a woman gets pregnant, it's her own fault. if she decides to have the baby - and the guy doesn't want it and wants her to have an abortion - she takes the responsibility herself and can't hit the father up for financial/emotional help afterwards.

my theory: guys make a decision the minute they have sex without birth control. actually, in some cases, the minute they have penetrative intercourse. let's face it, women - and all human beings in general, except for your own self - are wild cards. you never know what deep-seated memories are triggered by which events.

so you, the guy, may hop into bed with someone thinking that it's a done (footloose and free-loving deal) and she may get pregnant and suddenly all her thoughts of motherhood and her own childhood and the bizarre behaviour kicked in by hormones and who know WHAT she will do.

basically, you just handed her a loaded gun - that you loaded, btw - and now, if you didn't take precautions earlier (and sometimes even if you did). you are going to have to deal with the consequences.

even if the consequences are that she falls madly in love with you (a la fatal attraction) or you fall madly in love with her (and she's not interested).

sex is a complicated and emotionally-fraught act.

do it without thinking and you could end up dealing with the offspring (and the mother or father) for a good 18 years.